Becoming Enough for Myself: Shedding the Old Stories to Make Space for What’s True

Today I am sitting in a lot of emotion.

Maybe it is because my period is coming, or maybe it is just where I am in this cycle of perimenopause, where the days before I bleed feel like unpredictable rocky terrain. My emotional body feels like it is shedding skin. The snake metaphor keeps coming through. I can feel the layers of old identities and versions of me that are no longer aligned still clinging to my soul, even as I try to release them.

Part of this comes from asking myself a question I ask my clients all the time. What am I calling in next?

If you follow my work, you know I talk often about manifestation and how I have called in so much already. Abundance finds me in strange and beautiful ways. A fairy garden I created in my backyard. Money when I need it. A free trip to Hawaii. So many synchronicities that still make me laugh.

Yet one of the very first things I ever wrote on a manifestation list is still something I am calling in. A life partner.

And here I am arriving at a moment where I am shedding even that story. Not the desire for partnership but the belief that I must have a partner to feel complete. That deep belief that someone else is the missing piece. I know that is not true. Yet the residue of it still sits in my body like an old ghost.

Love and money have always been intertwined in my manifestation practice. So, as I call in aligned clients and aligned income, I am also stepping into this new version of myself. One who is simply me. One who is sharing my gifts with the world and seeing who arrives. One who is learning patience in a way I never have before. One who is learning to sit in the quiet and trust that being myself is enough.

And today all of that hit me like a ton of bricks.

There is scarcity in the mix. The fear that maybe I will never find a partner. There is frustration. Watching myself still scan rooms for connection. Still noticing who I find attractive. Still checking to see who might be looking back at me. Still searching for the small, energetic crumbs of external validation that always leave me feeling small.

I get upset at myself for this because I am so tired of needing that little hit of approval. That tiny spark of being seen or desired or chosen.

Underneath all of that is a deeper fear.

I am scared I will never find someone to build deep intimacy with, and I am also scared that I will.

This is the paradox of healing.

Wanting connection and fearing it at the same time.

Growing into a woman who knows her worth while still battling the old shadows that whisper otherwise.

So I am challenging myself to shift my mindset. To step into the person I am becoming. The person my soul has been asking me to rise into. The version of me who feels desired and desires. Who feels helpful and challenged. Who feels energized, alive, and curious. Who feels open to growth, travel, adventure, partnership, and sovereignty.

I am doing this alone right now.

And I am learning to love that.

I am learning to accept that this might be how my life looks. And there is grief in that. Because the old story still clings to me. The one that says it was not supposed to be like this.

But maybe this is exactly how it is meant to be.

I look at the trees outside. I see how rooted they are. How deeply they belong to themselves. They stand in their purpose without constantly searching for something that is not there. They do not grasp. They do not chase. They simply are. The wisdom in that feels humbling.

I wish I could release this last piece.

I am ready to move on.

I am ready to stop walking into rooms and scanning for someone who might think I am attractive.

I am ready to stop performing and watching and hoping, and subtly positioning myself to be chosen.

I am ready to be me.

To be in my power.

To live in my sovereignty.

To share my gifts with the world and to recognize how beautiful they are.

To be grateful for who I am and what I already have.

To let that be enough.

To be enough for myself.

I am writing this with tears in my eyes and a tightness in my throat because it is true.

I am becoming enough for myself.

The old version of me is clinging on, and I am gently asking her to let go.

Impatience rises, but I know the only way is through.

I have to sit with this.

Let it wash through me.

Let it alchemize.

This is why I am sharing it.

Naming the truth is a form of spellwork.

Speaking it into the world transforms it.

This is integration.

This is how we step into who we are becoming.

If you find yourself in a season of shedding too old identities, old stories, old beliefs about love worthiness, or what your life should look like, I want you to know you do not have to navigate it alone.

This is the heart of the work I do.

My integration coaching practice is a place for deep self-discovery, nervous system tenderness, emotional alchemy, and rewriting the narratives that no longer fit who you are becoming.

If you feel the call to step into your next chapter with support, guidance, and grounded spiritual companionship, you can learn more about working with me or book a session at ttlgintegration.com

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Your healing matters.

Your becoming is sacred.

And you are already more than enough.